Deirdre Geraghty

I have been juggling with my new thermostat. Seems like l can get the temperature to a bit above or a bit below where I would like it to be so I have sat here in the cold whilst experimenting. My lungs didn’t like it. But it is not important in the grand scheme of things – many people have no heating at all – so I will settle.

It’s a milkshake day today. Three times a week I have a milkshake meal replacement for breakfast and for lunch and a low calorie meal for dinner. The other days I just continue to calorie count. My target being 1200 calories per day. It seems to be working – just very slowly.

There was an item on the News about the number of medical staff who are still off work with Long Covid having worked on the Covid wards with little protection. It is so easy to forget about them – l am so lucky that I have never had Covid so far.

Another schizophrenic in the headlines for murder/manslaughter. My diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia with a depressive element. I have no violent tendencies and am more likely to harm myself than anyone else. The same applies to all of those l have known with a similar condition.

It is really nice to have a friendly relationship with one’s neighbours. In fact, many of my good friends started out as such – some a very long time ago. Having friends is a real blessing and I treasure mine as, probably, one of the most important things to me.

For a while there l thought l would spend the night downstairs with the storm outside but my dear friend and neighbour C convinced me that I would be okay upstairs. It took some time for me to get to sleep but I got there thank goodness!

I haven’t been a Christian for a very long time but the fear of the Devil and of hell were put firmly in my head when I was a child. How much of it was my Catholic upbringing and how much the Denis Wheatley books and television l couldn’t tell you but I remember being crucified each time we played tag in my Catholic infant school which is quite gruesome for a five year old. The Devil and hell were in my head quite early and very hard to shift and I still feel fear when I think of them even though I no longer believe they are real.

I am really disappointed this morning – I thought my weight might be down again but it was up. I know I don’t do myself any favours checking it so often but I like to see how it’s going. Oh well!

The Engineer came yesterday and ordered a new digital thermostat for me. We had a talk about replacing the radiator for a vertical one which wouldn’t be hidden behind the sofa but it would be too expensive including fitting. In the meantime he told me to turn the faulty thermostat up because it’s a false reading.

My thermostat is playing up so sometimes I am nice and warm but at others I am cold. I think I need to replace my radiator too. I will discuss it all with the Engineer.