Deirdre Geraghty

I spent last evening, like most others, alone. Quite often I phone or text someone but last night I didn’t want to interrupt other peoples’ Valentine’s Day. Having watched the advertisements on the tele of delicious meals and chocolates I felt sadly lacking and rather lonely. Never mind.

Ooh – it’s so cold – and wet – and windy. It’s true it has been worse but I really don’t like gales. I have always been frightened by thunder and lightning and also what we called “the big wind” since I was a child hiding under the blankets. The truth of it is I am not flooded and it is far worse across the country. It must be a nightmare to be flooded.

I have been worrying about the wiring in the dining room light ever since a false ceiling was put up several years ago. The 10 year energy saving light bulbs only last a few months so I finally called in an electrician to check the wiring. I will wait and see if it makes a difference but it feels good not to be worrying about it.

My very helpful handyman came with his colleague to start sorting out my fence which came down during the xmas storms. One of the panels has warped so they have laid it down with another panel on top and they will be back soon to re-erect it. These people are worth their weight in gold.

I think of myself as better than I was before but the truth is I muddle along quite well as long as I don’t do anything different. So anything new and I go to pieces shuffling from foot to foot or rocking back and forth if I am seated. It takes me a very long time to learn anything new or different from every day.I wish everybody would understand that.

Last night I thought I would treat myself to a take away. I really fancied getting some chicken delivered. It was a company I had not used before. The food was really disgusting especially the fries and the coleslaw so I ended up throwing most of it away. It has left a really horrible taste in my mouth ever since.

I have decided that I was very hard on myself on Saturday as I have been in quite a bit of pain this weekend. I just hope that this will disappear over the next few days.

Yesterday I had an appointment at the Norfolk and Norwich hospital for an ultrasound guided cortisone injection into my shoulder. It wasn’t very pleasant and I was given instructions to take it easy and not lift anything heavy for two days. I have absence of movement in that shoulder which is self inflicted as I have been warned it would be painful for a few days and I am a coward. I will just wait and see.

I went for my mental health review on Monday. Schizophrenics live on average 15 to 20 years less than everybody else so nowadays we have an annual check-up. The Doctor sent me for a fasting blood test on Tuesday. It was very cold weather to be going out without breakfast and I should get the results soon.

I went for my mammogram today. It is always very uncomfortable as they pull you this way and that and then scrunch your breasts between two surfaces. This time it was a little more difficult as I have a bad shoulder so it was painful when they stretched my arm. And then, of course, you have to hold your breath which is very difficult when you have emphysema. But… it’s important.