Deirdre Geraghty

The leader of the opposition was saying that with the deal we have with the EU that we have no say over decisions from there but that is the fault with Brexit which her lot did in the first place. Ugh!!

My head has been going through what went on forty odd years ago when I had a major breakdown and ended up in the psychiatric system labelled schizophrenic. My family kindly helped me and my son who was quite young. I don’t remember a lot but apparently I didn’t thank them enough. I was very ill and an embarrassment and mental illness was not acceptable then like it is today and my small but regular use of Moroccan which is very mild was blamed unlike the belief that it was my experiences going right back to childhood which is more likely. Anyway, apparently I didn’t thank people for all the kindness they showed us way back then. So I am very sorry for not saying thank you. For the best part of forty years I was on very strong antipsychotics and unable to function in any acceptable fashion. Maybe I should have marked it in my calendar and said thank you – maybe monthly or even weekly. No idea. I find just thinking about it very upsetting but that’s just the way it is but I will endeavour to say sorry and thank you repeatedly for the foreseeable future.

I have the serious programmes on which I also record on a Sunday morning but my viewing is much interrupted until later. And then I watch all four episodes of EastEnders which were on this week. Although I am a bit chilly sitting here in my short sleeves – maybe time to change into something warmer.

I have endeavoured to be a freethinker for most of my life – preferring to think things through for myself and discuss with others and not be told what to think, what to say or do or what to believe in. For the first fifteen to twenty years of my life I was a Roman Catholic. – what had gone into my head growing up was very difficult to shake off and I find anything to do with all of that very disturbing. In fact anything I have done for over forty years like family funerals or religious rituals or ceremonies l have found really difficult. But I have always done them as l felt I should. I have discussed all these things with others over the years but that is frowned upon by some but there you go. I don’t know about other religions only the one I went through.

I have just finished reading my New Statesman and starting to watch U & Drama Channel which has quite watchable repeats on a Saturday afternoon. My friend the gardener won’t be wanting to read the NS after me this week because she gets incredibly busy in the warm weather but she will get back to them later in the year. It seems unthinkable to put them in the recycling.

So I believed that I needed to discuss my painkillers with the surgery before they run out. Whether they will let me have some more or end it here – I know they are very addictive. So I phoned the surgery but this time I couldn’t get past the machine – Andy the chatbot ai thingy. It said that it would go through to the triage team but I have heard that before and I don’t believe it goes any further but I will wait and see.